


How Do You Get That Lonely

by MusicLover19



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: aftermath of suicide, how do you feel so lonely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 07:13:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicLover19/pseuds/MusicLover19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tragedy has gone through Hogwarts. A student has been found dead. What led to these drastic actions? Why is Draco so sad? How does Hermione fit into all this? This is a Songfic, based on Blaine Larson's 'How Do You Get That Lonely'. Long AN at end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Do You Get That Lonely

It sickened her. The fact it was in paper ment no one really seemed to care. The way it was written as well. No sorrow. No sadness. Just the gruesome facts.

_It was just another story printed on the second page_

It deemed not worthy enough to be front page news.

_Underneath the Tiger's football score_

Each student received a copy at lunch. Not one could hold back the look of shock. No one would have guessed.

_It said he was only eighteen, a boy about my age_

Blaise Zabini. The quiet Slytherin. Hardly anyone noticed him. Not his family, nor his peers.

_They found him face down on his bedroom floor_

They claimed it to be because of the Dark Lord falling. He didn't want to be jailed. No one had known if this was true though.

_There'll be services on Friday at the Lawrence Funeral Home_

No number on how many would attend. The hall was in a state of shock. It was only the second day back. Only a very select number of pupils had noticed his absence.

_Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone..._

The paper said he had been dead a month before he was found. How did his parents not notice?

Everyone's mind asking the same question.

 _How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad?_  
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all  
Is better than the life that you had?  
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go?  
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know?  
Whispers broke through the hall.

_Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?_

"I heard he was depressed and that he killed his girlfriend too," was one of the rumors followed by; "He didn't even have a girlfriend I bet it was because he was gay."

"Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini. Did you see how they looked at each other last year. I bet they got together and Draco ended it."

"I heard his father had the gun laying around. Just waiting for him to use it."

"He stole the gun. It was from London!"

_Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?_

"I heard he was a druggey. He took too many that time though and shot himself."

"Did you see him last year? He was always out of it. Obviously into the powder."

"He drank every night. I didn't every see him without it. I bet that's what made him do it. The alcohol."

_Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say I love you son?_

"I met the Zabini's last year. His parents didn't pay him any attention. I thought nothing of it… he was just so quiet…"

"No one even spoke to the Zabini's and they never spoke of a child when people did."

"His parents took too long to find him. A month? Who wouldn't notice a child missing that long? Unless they killed him…?"

_Did no one see the writing on the wall?_

"The signs were all there. He just didn't bother to try and get close with anyone. No one took notice."

"He was a silent type. Always alone. It was just how he was."

Unable to stand it anymore Hermione fled the hall. Running out onto the school grounds. She had never really talked to him unless they were paired together. He was a nice boy. Lots of people liked him.

_I'm not blamin' anybody, we all do the best we can_

"Granger!" she heard someone call. "You alright?"

"Go away Malfoy! I want to be alone," she whispered back, her voice full of tears. She just didn't understand. What would drive someone to this?

"Why would I? You were the only one to actually be nice to him… you deserve the full story," shocked Hermione turned to Draco Malfoy.

"You know what happened?" she asked the tears now flowing freely.

"I was his best friend."

 _I know hindsight's 20/20, but I still don't understand...  
_ "What happened Draco?"

"Everyone bullied him. His parents neglected him," he took a deep breath. His voice shook. It had to be hard to lose a best friend. "To them he didn't exist. He was a burden. They used to leave him for months at a time, the elves would watch him. They hated him Hermione."

_How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad?_

"He coped so well. But once the Dark Lord fell… his parents went crazy. They blamed him. Everything that went wrong was his fault."

"So that was his way to prove he wasn't theirs?" she asked, her voice broke throughout it. She couldn't even begin to imagine a life were parents didn't look after their children.

"Yes. It was his way out," a few tears fell, followed by more. "I tried to stop him… I really did."

_To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all_

"If his mind was made up you could have tried everything and it still wouldn't have worked," she tried reasoning with the teenager.

"They beat him. All summer. It was horrible. He would… he would come round each time and we'd… we were always talking. They cursed him repeatedly."

_Is better than the life that you had?_

She just stood and watched in shock as the great Draco Malfoy fell to the ground crying. He made no sound but she could clearly see it was killing him inside. She walked over and knelt in front of him.

He was no longer an enemy. He was a broken person who had lost an important person it his life.

She slowly put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She didn't tell him that it'd be alright, because she knew it wouldn't be. This would haunt him forever.

_How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go?_

"Draco…" she whispered softly into his hair. He pulled back to look her in the eye. His red, puffy eyes made him look so much more human. So much more vulnerable. "I need you to promise me you won't do that," she needed to hear him say it. She couldn't lose someone else she knew, no matter what. The war was too much.

"I can't… it's too hard," he cried softly.

"Draco… I need you. I have no where else to go. My friends are happily in relationships. I can't hold them back now… plus Blaise wouldn't want you to be like this," she whispered desperately. "He'd want you to live for both of them. You need to Draco.

 _How do you get that lonely... and nobody know?  
_ "I promise," he said so softly I almost missed it. "Hermione? Does this get any easier?"

"Only a little. It'll take time though," he nodded looking down. This Draco Hermione liked, the small child-like one. The one that needed a friend.

"Draco. I'm here… if you ever need me. you know that don't you?" she asked gently. His nod was the only thing.

He was no longer capable of words. He had said what needed to be said. He told her, just like Blaise had asked.

Draco took one last look down at the floor and saw the paper, open on the second page.

_It was just another story printed on the second page_  
 _Underneath the Tiger's football score..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok… this has been in my head even since I heard the song. The song means a lot to me personally. It also holds a strong message within it. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem as most people say, but at the time it seems much more. It can be their only way out and to some of them, their only chance at freedom. I find it sad how people look down on the one that have tried or that succeed in committing suicide. It is a major problem and with that attitude it is only bound to get worse.
> 
> Things need to be done to help people thinking about it. Teenage suicide is getting worse as the years go on. If you could take the time to just talk to someone about what is worrying them or just make a nice, friendly conversation and not bullying them or ignoring them you could save that persons life. I'm not saying that this is anyone's fault, it just could make the difference. Everyone deserves a chance to fully live. They just have lost that part of life, it needs help returning…
> 
> If anyone is thinking of committing suicide please, I begging you get help. I was once in that place and I wish it on no one. It's horrible. You're just so lonely. Talk to anyone willing to listen, write, call a hotline. Please don't take your life. People care and would miss you.
> 
> As I said I've been to that place and back, every so often I revisit it. I hate the feeling but at times there is nothing I can do. If anyone ever needs to talk message me (or email… it's on here) I'll take the time to read through it and I'll try and help you. I've been through a lot and I didn't have the chance to talk. I will not be judgemental, I will be honest and if I think you need to get help I'll say so. I would never tell you to just get over it. Everyone's problems are big. I also check my emails and such often throughout the day. I'm here if you want.
> 
> Thank you for reading. If you leave a review I would be most grateful but if not that's ok too. I just hope that you all are in a good place and none of you are being mistreated.


	2. Lullabies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to 'How Do You Get That Lonely'. Song-fic based on All Time Low's Lullabies. Five years later and people are not moving forward.

News clippings hung on the wall. Old home videos were thrown around the room. In the corner on a worn out chair laid a man. His eyes red and puffy from his recent tears.

_Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye –_

It had been five years. Five long years since the death of Blaise Anthony Zabini. Five years since they found him on his bedroom floor.

_It could be for the last time and it's not right._

Draco Lucius Molfoy had grown and lived for the two of them. He lived as best he could. The pain and guilt were slowly killing him.

_"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said._

The last words spoken between the two friends were a promise. One Draco had always respected. One he regreted.

_Alone and far from home I'll find you..._

Each day was harder then the last. The struggle drew on. The depression dragged him in.

_Dead – Like a candle you burned out;_

He choked back a sob as his friend appeared on a screen before him. His green eyes shone brightly with all the held back laughter he was unable to express. Draco was forced to watch that sparkle dim as the years wore on.

_Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words._

Everyone had been affected, no matter how little. The anger between people faded and the sorrow needed comfort.

_Scream – To be heard, like you needed any more attention;_

A scream pierced the silence of his mind. The flashes of Blaise grew, only this time the images were tainted. Blood. Mangled bodies. Tears. Curses.

Draco's eyes scrunched tightly together trying desperately to block it out.

_Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear._

The door at the top of the stairs creaked as it was pushed gently open.

"Draco…?" the timid voice asked quietly.

_Sing me to sleep,_

Closing the door behind her, she made her way down the basement.

"Draco. Come on. We'll go get you cleaned up," her voice stayed no more then a whisper. She held her hand out steady, trying not to shake.

_I'll see you in my dreams,_

Slowly his grey eyes met her doe-like ones. She could see the raging battle within them.

"Remember tha promise you made me Draco. You promised to be here. You promised me you wouldn't leave them," her voice trembled.

_Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."_

"I miss him so much…" he croaked. "I wish I could go back… try to stop it more…"

She stopped his mutters with a soft kiss on the lips. It only lasted a second.

"You tried as much as you could Draco. Don't doubt that."

"I could have stopped him Hermione!" he yelled.

_Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around_

"I'm sorry. It's just…I feel like a part of me is missing. He was the closest thing I had to a brother," his eyes fell to the floor.

"Draco… I know it's hard for you," she whispered. she lent over and gently kissed his cheek. "Lets get you cleaned up."

_It's like a piece of me is missing._

"Can we… can we try and go to him again…?"

Over the five years hermione had visited Blaise's grave alone. Draco never had been able to bring himself to say a final goodbye.

_I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?_

Taking his cold hand she helped him stand. With a promise she led his up the stairs and to the bathroom.

Taking a wet cloth hermione began to rub small circles on his face.

_Don't you realize you brought this family a world of pain?_

Leaving Draco to finish in the bathroom she left.

"Blaise… I understand why you did it but it hurt him a lot," her voice shook as she whispered to the nothingness. "I'm running out of ideas to help him. Please, let him accept it at lest. I hate seeing him like this. It's taring me apart," her eyes whelled up with the emotion. "I love him Blaise. I want to be able to help him."

_Can't you see there could have been a happy ending we let go?_

Her tears grew until she fell to the floor with the force of them.

_Sing me to sleep,_

_I'll see you in my dreams,_

_waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."_

The graveyard was silent. The tombstones each had their own flowers growing. To the far left, right in the back, was a grave that held the simple words, 'A wide imagination can solve anything.'

_Sing me to sleep._

_Sing me to sleep._

The couple made their way gingerly. The man held his wife's hand as his only lifeline.

_Sing me to sleep._

_Sing me to s…_

As they stopped in front of the grave he could no longer hold back the sobs that wreaked his body.

_Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)_

"How could you!" he screamed. "You made me promise not to stop you! You made me promise not to speak of you! You made me promise to fucking forget you!" he cried as he yelled. The anger he had over the years aimed at his friend was quickly fading.

_I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),_

"You changed everything Blaise. You were like my fucking brother. You were my go to guy. You also brought her to me," looking behind him her saw his wife walk away. "She means everything to me now. I can't forget you Blaise. It just won't happen," his voice grew quieter. "I promised to live for the both of us and yet so far I haven't. I hate the fact you never met our little Blaise. He's a jem." The tears flowed freely down his face as he made no attempt to conceal them. "I miss you Blaise."

_Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."_

"How is he Hermione?"

"Not good. He'll get better, trust me Harry."

"It's been five years."

"He's accepted it. They were closer then you and Ron. Just give him time."

"Fine, but if he ever hurts –"

"Blaise is perfectly fine," she cut him off.

She followed Harry's gaze and a sad smile grazed her face.

Draco held the three year old boy to his chest as he told him of his great Uncle Blaise.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

'Yes, from here on everything will get better,' Hermione thought to herself. 'Just Draco, Blaise Jr. and I.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?
> 
> Again if you guys ever feel that bad that you feel like ending your own life you can send me a message and I'll try to help.
> 
> Right guys... I have news
> 
> I was asked a while ago if I would do another story to do with this and 'How Do You Get That Lonely' and I am thinking about it now. I cannot remember or find the person that asked me but I do remember that they requested it.  
> The next part will be a bit off track as it is basically Blaise's suicide, if what I'm thinking of works out we get to see the relationship between Blaise and Draco and just how the promise was made.  
> I shall update this when I finish it but keep in mind it may take a while. It is some pretty emotionally stuff and it does effect me when I write it.  
> Thank you for taking the time to read this guys.

**Author's Note:**

> ok… this has been in my head even since I heard the song. The song means a lot to me personally. It also holds a strong message within it. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem as most people say, but at the time it seems much more. It can be their only way out and to some of them, their only chance at freedom. I find it sad how people look down on the one that have tried or that succeed in committing suicide. It is a major problem and with that attitude it is only bound to get worse.
> 
> Things need to be done to help people thinking about it. Teenage suicide is getting worse as the years go on. If you could take the time to just talk to someone about what is worrying them or just make a nice, friendly conversation and not bullying them or ignoring them you could save that persons life. I'm not saying that this is anyone's fault, it just could make the difference. Everyone deserves a chance to fully live. They just have lost that part of life, it needs help returning…
> 
> If anyone is thinking of committing suicide please, I begging you get help. I was once in that place and I wish it on no one. It's horrible. You're just so lonely. Talk to anyone willing to listen, write, call a hotline. Please don't take your life. People care and would miss you.
> 
> As I said I've been to that place and back, every so often I revisit it. I hate the feeling but at times there is nothing I can do. If anyone ever needs to talk message me (or email… it's on here) I'll take the time to read through it and I'll try and help you. I've been through a lot and I didn't have the chance to talk. I will not be judgemental, I will be honest and if I think you need to get help I'll say so. I would never tell you to just get over it. Everyone's problems are big. I also check my emails and such often throughout the day. I'm here if you want.
> 
> Thank you for reading. If you leave a review I would be most grateful but if not that's ok too. I just hope that you all are in a good place and none of you are being mistreated.


End file.
